12 Apr 2011

Unidentified Feeling


UNIDENTIFIED FEELING 
 

I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong!
Now I realize that I haven’t known about this feeling.
This feeling! This feeling! This feeling!
The feeling which has been around three years in my head.
The feeling which already existed in my head since I was at secondary school.

Actually, I don’t know what I feel.
I don’t know what this feeling is.
I don’t know if there is a psychologist who already knew about this feeling.
If so, I will never know what to say.
I will never know what to explain.
I will never know how to explain it.
I will never know from which I have to tell.

When this feeling came, I felt so terrible. So terrible!
It’s extremely bad!
He, the unidentified feeling, comes and makes feel so bad.
His coming makes me do nothing.
I don’t know what to do.
He makes my spirit gone.
I can’t do anything coz he already took my spirit away.

He just comes and goes without asking me permission.
I just always say “why? Why? And why?”
“Why do you always come?”
He comes, I borrow trouble.
Lord! Oh lord! Where are you? Where are you?
Why do You let this feeling always exist in my head?
You know. You already knew about everything.
You knew if this feeling came, I can never do anything as well as my duty as Your creature.

Please. Please! Make this feeling gone. Just make this feeling gone!
I know You can do anything. Anything!

However, I can’t do anything.
Tears trickle down my face as well as my pray to You, God!
God. Oh God! Hear me. Now I eat humble pie.
Everything is yours.
Forgive me. Please forgive me. Forgive me, please! Please!
Forgive me for my bad complaint to you.

Even though I haven’t known the philosophy of this feeling yet,
I’m sure that it’s the best for me.
This extremely bad feeling always makes me remember You, The only true God!
Allah, My truly God. Let me feel it if it’s the best for me.

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